


Right About Now

by Topographical_Map_Of_Utah



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Bad Dreams, Because No One Talks About Their Feelings, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Finn has the better coping mechanism, First Kiss, M/M, Mutual Pining, Poe you gotta make Finn feel better, Sleep Paralysis Is A Bitch, Stormpilot, chubby!poe, cookies aren't therapy, looking at you Poe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-05
Updated: 2016-11-05
Packaged: 2018-08-29 04:23:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8475190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Topographical_Map_Of_Utah/pseuds/Topographical_Map_Of_Utah
Summary: You know what Finn needs? A hug. You know who gives good hugs? Poe. Do the math.





	

Finn had always had nightmares, ever since he was a kid. That's the one thing he had in common with the other troopers, the waking up in the middle of the night and wailing for a mother he'd never see again. It was normal, the officers told them. You will all grow out of it in time. And yes, the rest of them did, but as Finn got older the bad dreams didn't go away. If anything they only got worse, which was a real boost to his self-esteem. Twenty-three years old and some nights he woke up praying that he hadn't wet the bed.

The nightmares didn't even have the decency to stay in his head, half the time. Sometimes they bled into real life and Finn would be stuck lying there, knowing that he was dreaming and fighting with everything he had to wake up, to tear himself out of his mind, away from the blood and the fire and all those _screams_...

Naturally, the officers could never be allowed to know about this. So Finn had worked out a system, a way to anchor himself in place whenever a night like that came along. He would find something to touch, something to smell, and something to hear. That meant wrapping his fingers around the side rail of his bunk, breathing in the acrid sterility of bleached sheets and listening to Zeroes snoring a couple lockers down. None of that made him feel better, not really, but it got the job done. Eventually, he would fall asleep and be able to sleepwalk pretty well through the next day. The good news was those days left Finn too exhausted to dream. So that was a win for him, sort of.

Things were different in the Resistance, though. Not the nightmares, those were the same. According to Kalonia he had something called hypnagogia. Basically next level bad dreams. Mix those up with the Force visions that sometimes paid him a visit and Finn was left not really looking forward to lights out. Case and point: right now. Finn locked his jaw, sharp breaths wheezing between his clenched teeth. Someone was talking to him, but Finn struggled to separate the words from the flashes of colour exploding in his head and the buzzing rattling his skull. He couldn't move. He never could, when this happened, but you don't exactly get used to something like this.

"Hey, hey." Eventually Finn managed to pick Poe's voice out of the carnage, feel a warm hand on his shoulder. Only problem was that it all got tangled up with the dream he was having. Halfway to delirious Finn edged his hand under his pillow, searching for his blaster, but Poe must have squirrelled it away at some point. Good, that was good. No telling what Finn would have done if he got his hands on it. And then, just as Finn thought he was coming down from it, a transport flew past, its light bouncing off of the wall and turning Poe's silhouette into a hulking shadow, a shadow that looked suspiciously like a certain mask-wearing drama queen with anger management issues. Oh, _hell_ no.

Finn unfroze with a cry, jumping at Poe and wrestling him down onto the floor the second his arms were usable again. The two of them landed with a thud and a few yelps, winding up in a confused tussle. Finn was half asleep the whole time, so when he blinked the fog out of his eyes and looked down to see Poe gasping in his hold, it was something of a shock. 

"Good reflexes." Poe choked out. Contrite, Finn pried his fingers off of Poe's neck and flopped down beside him with a shaky gasp. His heart seemed to be twitching in his chest, like it had forgotten how to beat. Maybe it would stop altogether. "Just a dream, man."

"Yeah." Finn cleared his throat and looked at Poe, who grinned and pulled him upright. There were red marks on Poe's throat, Finn couldn't help but notice. Those would fade, like they always did, but Finn still felt awful. It was astonishing that Poe was still willing to room with him. This had to be the tenth case of night terrors this month. "You okay?"

"Yep. I'm a big boy. Don't worry about me." The two of the stayed lounged out on the floor for awhile, absently nursing their bumps and bruises. On the way down Finn had clocked his elbow on the bedside table and Poe had taken a knee to the ribs. Poe's eyes rested on the designation neatly tattooed above Finn's collarbone and he gave his shoulder a squeeze, seeing the tears sliding down his cheeks. "How 'bout you? Is there anything I can do?"

"I dunno..." Finn took a deep breath, resting against the side of his bunk and rubbing his eyes. Crying annoyed all hell out of him. The first time he had seen someone cry in public wasn't exactly a positive experience, after all. FN-2154 had burst out in tears one day in the barracks, and when he came back from reconditioning the others called him "Cadet Crybaby" for months. "Can you not tell anyone I was crying?" 

"Is there anything I can do for _you._  Not for your scary badass supersoldier exterior." Poe amended. Finn rolled his eyes and managed to laugh. His hands were still trembling, but he tried his best not to let on. "C'mon, there's gotta be something."

"Well..." Finn didn't want to answer, he really didn't. Was Poe using some kind of Jedi mind trick? And here Finn was thinking that he was the one with the Force. "A hug would be great right about now," he admitted sheepishly. Without question, Poe sat up and wrapped an arm around Finn's shoulders, his hold warm and steady and grounding. Finn nestled in and tucked his face in the cosy spot under Poe's chin. Okay, maybe asking for a hug had been a good idea.

"We could sneak into the mess hall, if you like. The new shipment just got here, and Jess swears we're getting ice cream." Poe offered, breath warm on the top of Finn's head. 

"I just wanna stay here, if that's okay." Finn took a deep breath, picking at the edge of the ragged carpet Poe had brought with him from Yavin IV. There was a big oil stain in the middle and the stitches were fraying, but Poe kept it anyways. He seemed to like hanging on to tired, worn out things. That explained why he and Finn were friends pretty well. "Maybe later, if you want."

"You're the boss." Smiling, Poe propped his chin up on Finn's shoulder and gave him one of his signature cocky grins.  Now their faces were centimetres away, foreheads this close to touching. Well, that was just great. Finn found himself a bit distracted by the sudden proximity to Poe's lips. Closing the gap was a very attractive prospect. The only problem was that Finn couldn't quite work out the mechanics of that at the moment. Strange to admit, but Poe smelled really good. Warm and charred, almost, like he'd been rolling around in a campfire. Hell, maybe that's what had happened. Who knew what this guy got up to in his spare time.

"Hey, what do you do when you have nightmares?" Finn asked suddenly.

"Me? Uh..." Poe let out a nervous laugh and shrugged. "Eat something, I guess. You can sorta tell," he added, frowning down at his paunch. "Never said I was any good at coping."

"I always wondered about that package of cookies in your barrack box," Finn smirked and nuzzled a bit closer, taking advantage of the warmth radiating off of Poe's gut. Right now he wasn't thinking about how weird this was, or how when morning rolled around he'd be banging his head against the wall, cursing himself for letting his guard down. A whole year, he had worked to keep his crush on this son of a bantha a secret. And look where all that effort got him. Finn brought his knees to his chest and cleared his throat. Hard-ons were harder to hide than feelings, as it happens. "This doesn't bother you, does it?"

"Happy to help. Why? Does it bother you?" Actually, Finn was scared to let on how much he enjoyed this. Speaking of which, now would probably be a good time to disengage.

"No. Helped a lot, actually. I think I'm better now." Unfortunately, Poe wasn't buying his bullshit. 

"You don't look better. C'mon, man. There's gotta be something that'll perk you up a bit."

 _You._ A little voice in the back of Finn's head whispered. He couldn't seem to shut it down. Especially not with Poe looking at him like that, eyes crinkled in a warm smile. To hell with this, actually. Poe would find out sooner or later.

"It's stupid." Finn mumbled. "But I was just wondering if maybe, could you..." Words were tough, all of a sudden. "Could we..."

"Could we?" There was something a bit teasing in Poe's voice. A bit hopeful, too, or maybe that was wishful thinking. Finn punched his arm and took a deep breath before giving in.

"A kiss would be great, right about now." The words came out jerkier than he intended, and nowhere near casual. Finn felt himself tensing up all over again, then Poe shuffled into his lap, plopping down and cupping Finn's face in his palms. Well, this was an encouraging development.

"I s'pose, if it'll make you feel better..." Poe leant in and gently, experimentally, pressed his lips to Finn's. Finn hummed as everything inside him seemed to unwind. From the taste of it, Poe had dipped into his emergency cookie supply sometime earlier tonight. The sugar on his lips sure made for easy kissing. After a bit of an internal struggle Finn tapped out, snickering when Poe just leant in a bit closer, trying to maintain contact.

"Hey." Finn ran his fingers over Poe's cheekbones in an attempt to get his attention. The guy seemed a little out of it.

"Mm?" Poe opened one eye and nuzzled lazily against Finn's palm. The scruff dusting his cheeks scratched, but Finn couldn't find it in him to mind.

"Why are we still down here?" 

"Oh, yeah." Laughing, the two of them scrambled up onto Finn's mess of a bunk and picked up where they had left off. Finn wound up on top of Poe again, but on better terms than earlier. No strangulation, which was always a win in Finn's book. But after a few minutes Poe started to squirm, making Finn bounce in his lap. "You're heavy." A deep laugh rumbled in the back of Finn's throat and he smiled against Poe's lips. "No, seriously, sweetheart. I can't feel my legs. I need a medic."

"You don't need legs." Finn tried to insist, but Poe was adamant. Pulling away proved to be something of a challenge. When they finally managed it they curled up beside each other and rested their foreheads together, still nuzzling and laughing a little bit. This all left Finn feeling like was floating on air and grounded as a rock, both at the same time. A weird place to be, but by no means a bad one.

"Well." Poe cleared his throat and shot Finn a smirk. "That was fun."

"Yep." Finn agreed. He poked at Poe's belly and Poe chewed his lower lip, squirming and smiling and blushing, a reddish flush spreading out under his stubble. No thirty-two year old man had any business being this cute. "Hey, does this mean I can use you as a teddy bear whenever I want?" Poe stuck out his tongue and Finn actually giggled. Wow, he had never done that before. The things this guy did to him. It was ridiculous. 

"It'd be my pleasure. Think you can sleep, now?" Poe asked. Finn considered for a bit, running his fingers through Poe's curls, then he gave them a tug and grinned.

"One more kiss." 

As Poe kissed him good night Finn closed his eyes and sighed in sleepy satisfaction. Whenever he had a nightmare, Finn found that there were a few things that could help him out. Something to touch, something to smell, something to hear, and maybe, just maybe, something to taste.

**Author's Note:**

> Sleep paralysis is basically Wake Me Up Inside because your ass can't wake up and it's awful. I <3 kudos and comments btw


End file.
